Should I Stay or Should I Go? One recent grad reflects on a future in Vermont

CABOT – Vermont is an idyllic place to grow up.

I was born and raised in Cabot. And as a kid there, I thrived in our small, tight-knit community.

Now, I’m living in Burlington. I just graduated from the University of Vermont. And as much as I love this state, I wonder if it makes sense for me to stay.

As a 21-year-old with an English degree, I worry about finding a job, affording a place to live, and building a strong community of people my age here. Moving to a larger state with bigger cities might make all that a little easier.

I know its a privilege to get to choose where I want to begin the next chapter of my life. But still, I’m struggling with this decision.

And I’m not alone.

Most of the people who go to college in Vermont, 57 percent, leave the state after graduation. That’s more than any other state, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research.

I ran that statistic by Art Woolf, an economics professor at the University of Vermont who specializes in Vermont demographics. He says to take the finding with a grain of salt, because so many of the people who go to college in Vermont come here from out of state.

Still, Vermont is not retaining recent college graduates. Woolf said one reason is because young people tend to want to live in urban areas.

“Now there are some people, young people, who really like the outdoors and being able to kayak and hike and ski, and that is a certain subset,” he said. “But it’s not the majority.”

I like rural Vermont, and I feel like I could build a life in Cabot. But I still don’t know what to do.

So I headed back to my hometown to talk with some locals about my dilemma. My best friend and fellow Cabotian, Mia Preston, tagged along with me. “I think the older I get, the more I feel like I’m going to have a really hard time leaving Vermont,” Mia told me.

Mia is graduating from the University of Vermont in the fall, and she’s considering moving back to Cabot within the next year. Like me, she loves our hometown, but doesn’t know if it is feasible to live there right now.

“I thrive with people my own age, and I don’t really see that much here,” she said.

Once in Cabot, we went to Harry’s Hardware. Harry’s is a community hub, part hardware store, part bar. Inside, each of the metal tractor seat stools at the bar was occupied. People chatted and ate pizza at tables scattered around shelves of tools and animal feed. Toward the back, a group played Magic the Gathering.

Mia and I asked Harry’s regulars about what they did when they were our age.

Alanna Flynn said as a teen, she was itching to get out of Vermont. She’s originally from Benson, and she left Vermont four days after she graduated from high school.

“I got on a train and I went to Columbus, Ohio, where my oldest brother lived,” she said. “I hung out there for a while, and then I toured with him and his band back to the East Coast and up back to New England, selling merchandise for him.”

Kenny Gokey was born and raised in Cabot, but left when he was 17.

“My dad passed away when I was just a freshman, so I ended up quitting school went to work in a granite shed,” he said. “And then Uncle Sam wanted me, so I joined the military, and ended up in Vietnam.”

Seth O’Brien grew up in town and left for college.

“I wanted to see something bigger. So I went to New York, and then decided that was too big and too busy, and made my way back.”

In fact, Flynn, Gokey and O’Brien all came back.

Flynn moved to Cabot to be a bartender at Harry’s six years ago. She doesn’t work at Harry’s anymore, but still lives in town. O’Brien started a computer shop under the Cabot Village Store, and has found community at Harry’s where he now hosts Magic the Gathering sessions on Wednesdays. And Gokey said he always knew he wanted to come back to Vermont.

Talking to them, they seemed to share an undeniable feeling that Cabot is home.

Flynn says it’s because of the people.

“There are beautiful places all around the country that you could live, but the community and the camaraderie of Vermonters is something that you don’t find everywhere,” Flynn said.

Kenny Gokey suggested I stay in Vermont. He says a younger crowd would benefit Cabot.

“If you’re a true Vermonter and you’ve lived here all your life, well, it’s like home, you know,” he said. “So I really feel strongly that, if you grew up in this town and you went to school in this town, yeah, you know, come back and tell us how we should be fixing things.”

Ama Peyman agrees. She has an organic vegetable farm in town, and she said more young people here could help strengthen the community.

“I think we need you,” she said. “I think that Cabot’s aging out a bit. When I look around at my neighbors, a lot are older than myself and my husband, Nate. And when I go to church here, I attend the little old church here in Cabot, and almost everyone’s older than ourselves.”

But others, like Flynn, told me there’s something to be said for leaving.

“I think that you’ve gotta leave for some period of time, whatever that looks like,” she said. “I mean, maybe not everybody feels that way, but I feel like you have to know what else is out there to be certain about where you want to be.”

Unlike me, some young people already know what they want.

High school senior Cian Nott plans to live in Cabot with his girlfriend after they graduate and take a cross-country road trip this summer.

“Where I go to school, there’s definitely a lot of people who can’t wait to get out of here,” he said.

After we left Harry’s Hardware, Mia and I decided to drive up Cabot Plains Road to go sit by the covered bridge and watch the sunset, something we did religiously in high school. It’s a place that’s sacred to us. As we drove, Mia sung along to the radio, and the sky grew pink.

I’m moving into an apartment in Burlington for the summer, and I don’t know when I’ll be living in Cabot again. But I do know that in that moment, I was home.

I think it’s really the way you grow up, and the lifestyle you want to lead. For some people, Vermont is the perfect place for a quiet, happy lifestyle.”