GREENSBORO – Philip Hayward Gray Jr., died peacefully at the Greensboro Nursing Home on July 17. The son of Philip Hayward Gray, Sr., and Margaret Day Gray and the oldest of their six children, Phil was born in Barre on August 3, 1931.
His childhood, largely spent in Madison, Wisc., included Greensboro summers, fostering a life-long love for the Northeast Kingdom. A highlight of his high-school experience was winning Choate’s school-wide chess tournament as a freshman; he went on to earn a B.A. at Yale in 1954 and marry Hazel Burton, before completing an M.A. at Columbia in 1956.
Following two years in the Army and the births of daughter Margaret and son Philip Burton, Phil joined the Department of State’s Foreign Service, becoming an accomplished speaker of Arabic: a skill he honed during posts in Beirut, Lebanon (where daughter Ellen was born); Baghdad, Iraq (where Phil served as an economics officer, and son Bruce was born); and as a political officer in Amman, Jordan. A superlative poker player, he enjoyed regular games with other Foreign Service officers, financing two oriental rugs with his winnings; his colleagues, knowing full well whose cash was behind these, would ruefully ask Hazel if they could spit on the rugs when it was Phil’s turn to host a game.
Following the family’s return to the states in 1967, Phil continued with government service, working briefly for the Office of Economic Opportunity before moving to the Office of Pesticide Programs of the Environmental Protection Agency.
Retiring after thirty years in the federal government and moving year-round to Greensboro, Phil married Janet Birrell Travers in 1999, and they went on to enjoy exploring many exotic destinations together. He joined the nonprofit sector as a part-time administrator for an association of state pesticide regulators while, locally, his community involvement became extensive.
Phil was president of the Greensboro Association and board member as well as long-serving secretary of the Mountain View Country Club; he chaired the Greensboro Planning Commission, was on the Hazen Union school board, and visited area nursing homes as an ombudsman for the Area Agency on Aging. A regular platelet donor, involving a somewhat more complex procedure than simple blood donation, he donated over 100 gallons of platelets in the course of 823 trips to Burlington. In 2018, he and Jan, together, won the coveted Greensboro Select Board’s annual Greensboro Award.
A fierce competitor, Phil was a force to be reckoned with, from sailboat races to tennis tournaments, winning prizes in each. For decades, he greatly enjoyed matching wits with the New York Times crossword puzzles.
Phil is survived by his wife, Jan, as well as his four children, seven grandchildren, two great-granddaughters, stepdaughters Gretchen Cassell and Marcy Larrabee and families, and numerous other relatives.
A Service of Remembrance will be held in Fellowship Hall, Greensboro Church of Christ, from 11 a.m. to noon, followed by refreshments, on Wednesday, August 7. In lieu of flowers, donations in Phil’s memory may be made to the Greensboro Nursing Home or a favorite non-profit organization, the Center for Biological Diversity, located in Tucson, Ariz.
