“I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So let’s make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we’re together we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?”
– Fred Rogers
The other day I was driving and by accident tuned into a radio station peddling political theories I totally disagree with. The world view expressed was so different from my own that I might as well have been on a different planet.
Personally, I’m not willing to write off half of my neighbors because we disagree on politics. The next time I slide into a ditch on a winters’ day I sure hope whoever comes along doesn’t ask me who I voted for before they try to help me. I might wince at certain signs you have in your yard, but I will still talk with you at recycling and be genuinely interested in how you are doing.
I admit that I do judge people, even though I wish I wouldn’t. At such times, I try to harness my inner Mr. Rogers, who welcomed every person with curiosity and an open heart.
One of my favorite stories about Mr. Rogers comes from his time in seminary. Fred and his classmates had gone to hear a prominent preacher on a Sunday morning only to find that he was away and that a substitute would be in the pulpit that morning. Fred was deeply disappointed and became even more so as the sermon proved to be plodding and inarticulate, and to contain, to his mind, shoddy theology. He couldn’t wait to turn to his friend next to him after the service was over to skewer the sermon, but when he did, he saw that she had tears running down her cheeks.
“That was just what I needed to hear today” she said in a hushed tone. Later, reflecting on this, Fred Rogers said something to the effect of “She was needing, and I was judging, and the holy spirit can’t reach those who are judging.” From that day forward, he decided to put aside judgment and enter the holy ground of unconditional love.
Curiosity is more powerful than judgment, and it leads away from fear and towards understanding. We could all use a little dose of Fred Rogers in times like these.
Reverend Sarah Lammert is the founder of Shared Vision Consulting in Vermont and works as the Federal Chaplaincies Endorser for the Unitarian Universalist Association.
