April Fool's, Entertainment

Sterling Pivots to Put the Farm in Big Pharma

CRAFTSBURY COMMON – Sterling College Trustees have approved a plan to pivot from their 100% environmental focus to a new emphasis on putting the farm in big pharma.

The announcement, thanking donors to the recently completed capital campaign, acknowledged receipt of $14 million from Monsanto and $3 billion from the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America.

New degree programs emphasizing chemical and biological engineering are planned.

Course topics being developed include “Carrots for Cataracts,” “Chem for Phlegm” and “Drugs for Slugs”

The college plans to share further details in the near future.

Comments are closed.